Mukund
Hello and welcome to pedal my way podcast where we talk about anything related to cycling and fitness. I’m your host, Mukund Murali. If you’re a fan of the show, please remember to subscribe to this podcast and follow the website paddlemyway.com.

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Rob
Good afternoon, Mukund. How you doing?

Mukund
Buddy, not bad at all, Rob. Getting excited for today’s topic.

Rob
So, I think the idea today is that I’d like to talk more about contentment, the idea of happiness and what that is in the moment. It’s a big idea. It’s a big conversation that people generally don’t think about day-to-day, and you don’t often think about whether you are happy within the moment. Last week we talked a lot about advances in technology. We talked about the vision. Now I’d like to talk about the sort of relationship between contentment and technology and chasing the next thing. What do you think about that?

Mukund
I am very interested in this. Actually we talked about a new technology that people hope to revolutionize the way we interact with the Vision Pro and any of the new social outreach gadgets. It’s going to transform the way we do, but taking it one step back, our economy itself is more on. You either buyers or sellers. That’s about it. With this comes the pressure of buying things. Things that you really do not need, I think that’s what we touched about last week towards the end when we talked about do we really need the new headset or the with the virtual reality headset? Not that it’s bad in any way, but do you find use for it? That’s how we kind of ended it. And this kind of leads to a bigger topic that we have been talking about the past few series in terms of happiness, in terms of mental health. Contentment. I think it’s one of the most important things people don’t. It’s not that they don’t know about it, but it’s they lose track of. It. This is comparing yourself to others who you do not know their means of living. For example, if somebody on social media tries to pull a very flashy lifestyle, you mean. 

You would assume that they work for that and you would want that, but you do not know whether number one they are taking on debt to fulfill that lifestyle is that contentment? Is that happiness. It ultimately comes down to what is it that you. Is that the understanding you have? As well, rob.

Rob
Yeah, I think that’s a you make a good point about influences in social media in, in the context of individual contentment and individuality, and what we’re actually chasing a lot of social media now, and I try to sort of stay away from it, but this is a sort of. The sort of my view on social media now is that it’s got it’s gotten away from conversational interactions and it’s more about buying and selling and sponsored posts and what product is this influencer using and what are your feelings about this product like that? You you have conversations, but all the conversations are about products rather than people. The initial promise of social media was improving interactions with people and and connecting people from all parts of the world. My concern with social media now, and this is getting into the the topic of contentment is is it the push away from? 

Individual conversations towards product based conversations is it talking? Is it taking people away from discussing their own concerns? Hopes what they want for the future? Is it taking that away and going towards how can I buy this thing? How can I go go on this vacation that I want? Increasingly, what I see online, my day-to-day interactions, is people are chasing an idea that doesn’t necessarily exist. 

The scary thing is like the exotic vacation, as you were saying, people are going into debt to be able to travel to these places as an influencer and selling a lifestyle that probably doesn’t exist and can’t materially exist because not everybody can have the amount of money that it would take to have. That this kind of lifestyle, right?

Mukund
So. I’m giving you just a very generalized, easy to understand example. If a person is earning $1,000,000 a year. If he or she is living in a penthouse somewhere, open concept or looking to see, yes, maybe he or she can afford it. Maybe he or she can pay for it. They made it, if that’s what they want, and they achieved it. Congratulations. It does not make sense for me to live that lifestyle if they cannot afford. But at the same time, if I’m in my own little house, my own ecosystem of gadgets that I have, if that gets me going every day and I’m happy with it. I think that’s what contentment is. It’s not feeling jealous of what others have. It’s realizing your situation. Take a holistic view of what you have, what your family has.

Rob
100%.

Mukund
And does it serve your need? It’s not your ambition that I’m talking about. It’s what you have currently. Is that helping you? I’m not talking about the next biggest thing. Your neighbor got a new car, but is your 5 year old car still serving the purpose? Are you happy with it now? I think it’s a more complicated question of what happiness is. So contentment is related directly to happiness from our experience, at least from my experience. Do I want a higher paying job? Yes, of course. It’s just that we don’t want because somebody paying you $1,000,000 is not going to give you. A free time right to enjoy the million. Dollars.

Rob
Well, and also there’s there’s somebody else making $2,000,000. Right.

Mukund
Exactly as you become a very good point. So I think I mentioned this to you, right. So there is an. Old. Cartoon or something where in the on the road you know a guy driving a spanking new SUV guy next to him is in a is in an old sedan looking up at the guy being. And the SUV is thinking. I want the SUV, and there’s a guy in a bicycle or in like, a bike right next to the sedan saying, hey, I want the. Dan and there’s a guy next to him on a cycle saying, hey, I want the bike. And at last there’s a person inside house looking out the window and the guy saying, hey, I wish I had legs to walk. Yeah. So it all depends on your situation. There’s nothing wrong in in aiming for better things in life. But if your mentality is that you hate what you have currently. You will never find contentment. What is the guarantee that when you get the SUV that you will be happy in life from at least what the social media is, what we can see every day? There’s always a push for more things. Get the next big thing you have to have it when you get it. There’s always a newer thing coming up the following day. 

So it’s not, I mean, that’s how the economy operates, but you don’t have to do that from from for your own sanity is is is key point to keep in mind need versus want is another thing that I think that defines content. Yeah. Statement. You needing something is something for it to survive, right? You need to go to the doctor to get your health check. You need it. Do you want the latest gizmo? That is optional. You don’t need it to survive. But you can have it if you can afford it. Kind of mentality. Contentment is kind of very broad. Again, this is. Just my thought, Rob. What do you think?

Rob
If an individual is constantly looking at getting the next thing there are gonna be things that you can’t afford. There’s sort of like a a vacuum there. There’s something that has to be fulfilled that I don’t think is being filled by existence day-to-day. Like if you can’t. Be happy. Just I don’t know, going for a walk or just spending time with loved ones. Whatever it is, you’re happiness if it comes from a product. OK, fine. You’re you buy the next thing and that that makes you happy. It doesn’t. I don’t think that can exist for a long time. That kind of contentment. You might be content in that moment, but that lasts for until the next. Whatever the next vision Pro comes out, you’re constantly looking for contentment from outside when it really it can’t exist from outside. Can it really like you can’t be content from when you’re just looking to other people to to help you become content? 

You have to be content within yourself and. In in what you are doing and what you are accomplishing like the idea of contentment is interesting in the sense that. But I know for sure in China there’s a whole generation of young men that they’re stepping back from the rat race. They’re opting out, they they’d they’d rather live in their parents basement and just enjoy that moment than try to compete with one another for ever dwindling resources.

Mukund
Actually, that is the kind of the recent news that I’ve seen, at least, is that the younger generation coming up, they don’t want money driven, lifestyle, consumer lifestyle. They want more personal connects. I think that’s a good outlook to have. Absolutely. Money other than your basic needs is a question of how much do you need to survive. Contentment, I think, goes a step further in actually identifying what it is that you want and he being happy with what you have. Again, you know it does not have anything to do with your ambition for better things, more better lifestyle. But realizing that what you have and having happiness or getting happiness out of it. People who keep going behind material possessions or in general, tend to have less satisfaction in life. Research has shown that.

Rob
Yeah.

Mukund
It’s people who have contentment in life, both with their personal relationships, actually, people who are content are known to have better personal, familial friend relationships than people who don’t. And people who don’t tend to be more materially satisfied, which never is the case. They’re always looking for the next thing for the gratification.

Rob
Yeah, that’s a good point cause it it speaks to the idea of what is enough. Do you know what I mean? Like, when when are you done collecting things?

Mukund
People who in general are more thoughtful in their approach, questioning each decision, do you really need it? Can I afford it? Is it long term? Is it viable? Those types of common questions or the people who tend to be happier with their decisions than people just looking for the next? Big thing.

Rob
Yeah, I I was just gonna. I was just thinking about something that I’ve started to do more for myself. And I I noticed what was happening is that when I would go outside, say, I was taking the dog for a walk, I was or I was going for a walk myself. Going somewhere. If I take my phone with me, I’m constantly thinking about. Work or other things. I’m not in the moment. If I take my phone with me. Now that I started to leave my phone at home, I’m I’m looking around more. I’m thinking about things more and I’m thinking more effectively. I’m resolving work problems that I have. I’m resolving technical problems. I got an idea for something that helped me financially just by going for a walk, removing all distractions other than the dog. Dog is a big distraction just by leaving my phone at home. One small thing. It allowed me to sort of keep my focus on something that is bothering me, allow my brain the ability to. To. Resolve something, move forward in some some aspect. I don’t know what the process is is taking place in my brain, obviously, but it. I think that it benefited me just to not have that other distraction as small as it is, just having your phone in your pocket. It’s a very small distraction, but not leaving your phone. Leave for me. Leave my phone at home. I feel better when I come back from that walk. I feel more refreshed. I feel better able to take on another challenge after that.

Mukund
At work, do people talk about hey, you know, you know this guy did this at work in terms of, you know, hey, this guy didn’t get a raise and all those things. Do you guys talk about that, just the type of conversation come.

Rob
We don’t. I I even and and I’ve got to get better at this. But even in my like annual reviews. At. Work. I don’t tend to talk about money. If I get a raise, that’s great, but I don’t. With my colleagues, I don’t talk about like, hey, are you happy? Like, hey, how’s you know how your finance is doing that kind of thing? I I tried to talk about just work problems and sort of, you know, client problems and you know, this kind of thing trying to resolve problems, right, rather than talking about personal things. I don’t think it benefits anybody when. You have a workplace where people are taught bringing their personal or whatever it is drama or whatever you want to call it, personal baggage to to the thing. If someone one of my colleagues has come to me with a personal issue before and I have sort of helped them privately deal with that rather than via work, it’s better to create that hard. Line between your finances, your personal life and work. Because once those sort of things merge and and you know, you start talking about ohh I’m not making enough money and this this guy or girl is woman is making more than me at work it becomes really about your envy rather than. Collaboration which which for me was what should work should be is you know, how do we figure out this issue? How do we resolve this problem? How do we help this client that those sort of collaborative elements should be in the foreground, not the background of these conversations? 

And I I I hate talking about money in general and like how much I make and how much someone else may. Because it’s it’s really it’s ironically, it’s sort of like not not that important. I understand it’s important to pay bills. I understand day-to-day. You know, you need money to exist in society, but a few $1000 either way, like you, you’ve gotta have a certain amount that you’re happy with and you know, we can all do with more money. We could always, you know, benefit from having a little bit. A flexibility in our budgets, but it goes back to what I was saying, like what is enough like what like I. I I could. Make make more money. I could get a a second, third or fourth job and keep making more money, but at the end of the day, like I’m gonna be knackered, I’m gonna be very tired. I’m gonna be not able to do my first and second job well. So how much? How much time and resources are we going to put towards bettering our day-to-day existence?

Mukund
Of course. What you get out of it living within your means contentment starts from there. We had a separate episode on financial anxiety, right? So this is also part of that. I think it’s it’s the how we started the episode with, you know, people living their lifestyle on debt just to create this false sense of security. Yeah, I think that’s if you are realistic in terms of your situation, everybody would like to be a millionaire. Everybody would like to travel first class, you know, to Monaco or any, you know, to tropical islands, but not everybody can do. How some people can do that? That’s a different conversation. But you as an individual, are you able to do that? Can you afford it in your current situation? Right?

And if you can’t, that’s fine. That’s not the end of the world. You have to make use of or plan your trips, your vacation, your life with what you can afford. So having a realistic look at what you can afford and what you can do. That says a lot about how you can plant the future, and that also goes back into your mental health. Taking stock of what you are able to do with what you have. Yes, and being realistic in your expectations. Make changes to your lifestyle accordingly.

Rob
Yeah. And I would say. What would help people more is. Enjoy the process rather than the thing that you get at the end of the process.

Mukund
That’s a very good thing. Yes, you’re right.

Rob
Like, enjoy the steps that it. Takes. Whether it’s you know, getting in shape or whether it’s getting $1,000,000, enjoy that day-to-day experience more than you would enjoy getting the $1,000,000 or getting the six pack, whatever it is because. That process will motivate you to do it again and again and again when you enjoy the process of getting better at something. There was a small part of me when I was younger I would that would compare myself to other people. Well, we can, but there’s no there’s no benefit to it. I’m happy that I got in shape. I got in shape during COVID, but I think about those, you know. 5K is 10K runs or whatever. And I still am so happy thinking about those memories of enjoying those runs. I didn’t really. You might not have enjoyed the moment like the the the effort that, you know, the pains in your legs that you get from trying to get in shape, that those things are not obviously not enjoyable in that moment, but you have to be. Content with the idea of. Improving yourself and enjoying the process rather than. Constantly aiming for the the next goal and the next big thing, because often it doesn’t come and often once you get the thing that you thought you wanted you, you become more not depressed necessarily but more down because it doesn’t give you that same feeling. So or the feeling that you thought you were going to get. 

So for me that’s that’s what’s happened quite a few times. Say my my football team won a big trophy like, well, OK, the, the the winning the trophy is is great. But I enjoyed watching the, the the process, watching them win the games and being there, watching with my friends and my family, you know, enjoy that process again. I’m trying to think of a better phrase. And a better word for it.

Mukund
I think you’re talking about the opportunity cost, right when you want to get something, you lose something. That’s how things work. When you’re so concentrated on getting the next big thing, you know the next job or your business, you know the next big. Track. You lose something in the process. The more effort you put into something, be cognizant of what it is that you’re trying. To. Get maybe it’s a one time thing, right? So maybe it’s your next job once you get it, you can come back to your life. But that can’t be your life. Always looking for the next thing, because you’ll be losing out on kids. Your kids times. You know, if you have a family. You’ll be losing up on family times. You’ll be not talking to friends. I think those add much more value than materialistic pursuits. If you’re trying to get something. See what you’re leaving behind? Because the grass is always greener, as they say, so is your current grass green. You know you’re you’re you. Should just hopes. What you’re looking for is better than what you have now, so I think that’s 11 take away that I do every time.

Rob
Yeah, 100% for me. The big take away from this conversation is. That, and I think you and I have always been on the same page on this, but hopefully other people can sort of take away the idea that. Look introspectively like, what do you currently have and why do you want this thing that you think you want? What? What? What benefit are you gonna actually get from this thing? Whether it’s more money, whether it’s a new car, what is it that you’re at? Your brain is saying? What are you missing that makes you think that this is going? Solve something?

Mukund
Or to or to add to that? Or are you getting something just to appear? Or certain way to some people? And is it really worth it?

Rob
And and why does that? Why does that person’s opinion matter so much?

Mukund
Yeah, I think that’s the answer that I asked and I see, you know, all these social media influencers. You know, I’m having a jet setting lifestyle. I’m like, OK, I’m happy for you, but you know, is it really worth it showing off what you’re trying to do?

Rob
100% the main take away for me is that what is the impact of someone that doesn’t have what that that person has? What is, what are they looking at and what are they seeing and how? They how does that make them feel? When? They see those things.

Mukund
But this has been a good conversation, Rob. I think this was ties back to our original mental health thing because I don’t think we touched on contentment and this won’t be the catch. All of this diverse topic, right? This is a huge topic. A lot of things go into a person being happy, a lot of things go into somebody being content and it’s not easy for everybody to attain. Because of the personal situations. But contentment can be found, can be applied to any situation, at least in any realistic situation.

Rob
Yeah. What I would say is if you are feeling that you aren’t happy in that moment, it’s always good to question, why is this going to benefit you? And and most things, it’s going to be, yeah, kind of because I will have new shoes or a new car or whatever, but does it have to be a $50,000? Or $60,000 car. Does it have to be $500 boots? That’s something that I’ve sort of tried to apply in my life is. Not going for things that I think will impress people. I tend to think that most people are impressed by character rather than anything else.

Mukund
I don’t think I have met anybody who has been impressed by. Any car that somebody drove showing off in a way that comes off as obnoxious has never worked. And again shows the insecurities in people who do that, people who can generally afford it, they really don’t care what others think. People who are looking for validation are the ones that form the majority of people on social media and who we are trying. To talk about in this. Episode because that shows that they are really not content on what their life is. They’re trying to be somebody they’re. And that’s not sustainable in the long term.

Rob
So what I think would be good would also be to say to those people that are, whether you’re you’re an influencer or whether you are struggling with debt right now because you have this lifestyle that is not sustainable. What I would say to them is sort of speak to other people about it, speak to people about your insecurities. I I know it’s very easy for me to say, but I think you’ll find that. A lot of people would. Be. Open to discussing the the challenges that you’re facing, even though you have the. Outward appearance of wealth, you might say to someone else. You know, I’m really worried about, you know, I’ve got this thousands of dollars of debt per month. I’ve got this thing, but I don’t know what to do with it. Discuss these things with other people and sort of you’ll find that you can make a connection regardless of your position or social standing or current wealth.

Mukund
You don’t have to be pressured into following anybody’s lifestyle. You don’t have to feel pressured into giving up your financial freedom. Just don’t go into debt. Be real. Stick in your what you what you can afford and not afford. I think that’s kind of sauce. Most of the financial problems, not all. Each person’s situation is different.

Rob
Yeah, I think that’s that’s about right. I think you you, you nailed it there with. What is it that we’re sort of trying to accomplish here with the conversation and? I’ve enjoyed this this discussion. I think it’s hopefully going to be beneficial to quite a lot of people to. To think about. Where they are and. What they want to accomplish, and whether they are happy in the moment and hopefully people that are listening have benefited in some way from this conversation. I know you and neither of us are mental health professionals, but we we try to speak openly and authentically and honestly about what we’re going through and we would hope that. That anyone else going through a challenging experience that is. Questioning whether they’re content, reach out to other people and and discuss your concerns with others.

Mukund
Rob and I are in no way a mental health expert. We are just trying to find meaning in what we’re trying to do. This is all personal experience. So. So please reach out to a mental health expert if you have any issues. So Rob, this has been a very interesting conversation. Thank you for your time. Till next time you have a good one.

Rob
You too. It’s great talking to you, man. I appreciate it, man.